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Prevention Cohort LIVE Ep 13: Award-winning film creator, Chong Kim, discusses how trauma led to her Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and how she integrated it into the film, E40S (Every 40 Seconds)

Welcome to the Prevention Cohort LIVE stream, sponsored by PBJ Learning

One of our advisors, Chong Kim, just completed a film that has begun collecting awards from film shows across the world. It's called Every 40 Seconds (E40S), and the main character is based upon her life. And her personalities!

Kim explains how she has been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), and how her mind created distinct “personalities” to survive extreme trauma. She also explains how these personalities come out at different times, how this played out within her life, and how she has integrated them into the main character in Every 40 Seconds. 

We discuss how extreme trauma can cause a person's brain to react in many different ways, and how multiple personalities are but one way that can happen. Kim provides a series of suggestions for parents and individuals that explain how to get help and even create a “probationary period” for anyone you go work with as a therapist. Great tips and advice!

We close out with a few tips for parents to learn more. 

Here are links to the in the :

We record these meetings so you can watch them as a bit of an extra resource for yourself.

Watch on Fathom here.

Best Narrative Short & Best American Film & Director
Best Narrative Short & Best American Film & Director

AI Summary

We livestream, record and share our meetings for everyone's benefit. We use a Zoom addon product called Fathom, which screenshares, transcribes, and provides AI summaries of the calls. The transcriptions aren't perfect, but they are way awesome. This summary of the meeting is pulled straight from the automatic notes from Fathom.

Yes, we know what Zoom does with the data. Ugh. It proves our whole point from episode 7.

  • Billy Joe and My (Editor's note: “My” is from Chong Kim's “My phone” name – lol) had a conversation where My shared their personal experience with borderline personality disassociation and dissociative identity disorder (DID). My discussed the importance of recognizing red flags, the role of trauma in their survival, and emphasized the need for self- and accountability in managing these disorders. – PLAY @0:02
  • My discussed their diagnoses of PTSD, DID, and major depressive bipolar disorder, highlighting the challenges they faced in their relationships due to these conditions. – PLAY @13:00
  • Billy Joe and My discussed the impact of trauma on mental health, specifically PTSD and CPTSD. My shared their personal experience of developing alter egos as a coping mechanism, which emerged as a result of trauma. – PLAY @13:51
  • My, Billy Joe, and others discussed the concept of multiple personality dissociation, which occurs as a reaction to past trauma. They also mentioned the character Jules from the film Every 20 Seconds, who has multiple personalities that she uses in her investigations. – PLAY @17:00
  •  – PLAY @19:17
  • My discussed two misconceptions, but the details were not provided. – PLAY @28:55
  • My, Billy Joe, and others discussed the existence of Jules, a persona that My didn't know about until going to a gay bar. Jules had conflicting views and behaviors, but served a purpose in protecting My during a time of danger and trauma. – PLAY @29:09
  • Billy Joe and My discussed the idea of implementing a probationary period when seeking therapy, where the client pays a reduced rate to assess the therapist's effectiveness. They also emphasized the importance of asking for references and writing recommendation letters to ensure a trustworthy and effective therapist. – PLAY @39:30
  • My discussed the topic of trauma and its impact on individuals, particularly children who have experienced ongoing abuse. They highlighted the importance of recognizing and addressing such trauma to provide healing and coping mechanisms for those affected. – PLAY @48:06
  • My asked Billy Joe if he wanted to play something for others to hear, but Billy Joe couldn't hear it on his side. They agreed to put it in the description below. – PLAY @51:16
  • My and Billy Joe were discussing the vulnerability and trust issues of predators, emphasizing the importance of parents being aware of potential risks for their children. They also mentioned that predators can be of any gender or race, comparing them to moths flitting around. – PLAY @52:00
  • Billy Joe discussed how predators have a keen ability to detect various cues from their prey, such as chemical, psychological, behavioral, and non-verbal signals. These cues are beyond the victim's control and have a significant impact on the predator's actions. – PLAY @53:21
  • My and Billy Joe discussed the importance of parents being aware of the vulnerabilities their children face to prevent human trafficking. They emphasized the need for parents to have open conversations with their children about trust, boundaries, and how to handle potentially dangerous situations. – PLAY @55:06
  • My and Billy Joe discussed My's experiences working undercover and her efforts to bring awareness to human trafficking in America. They also questioned why the media focuses more on sensationalized stories rather than providing factual information about the issue. – PLAY @1:07:24
  • My and Billy Joe discussed various issues related to human trafficking, including labor trafficking, cyber currency scams, and embryo trafficking. They also emphasized the importance of being vigilant as parents and seeking reliable resources for support and information. – PLAY @1:19:10

Join us!

Radical Empathy welcomes all licensees and future licensees to join us at our weekly “Prevention Cohort,” where we discuss any topic YOU want, including how to get the most out of training with the VR product, TRAPPED: A VR Detective Story.

We get together every Thursday to discuss how others are using our tools. Come join us by clicking the Zoom image, below, at 6pm CST.

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Full transcript from Fathom

Editor's note: Chong's “Name” on the Zoom is “My Phone 김정란,” and I'm not sure why there are so many other non-English words below. I just copied the entire transcript from Zoom / Fathom.

Ep 13: Award-winning film creator, Chong Kim, discusses how trauma led to her Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and how she integrated it into the film, E40S (Every 40 Seconds) – October 14
VIEW RECORDING – 90 mins (No highlights)


@9:53Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Okay cool. Hey, so thanks for being your chong. I really appreciate it. We're going to. We're going to talk a little bit about every 40 seconds and how it intersects with a disassociative identity disorder and how you experience that yourself.

I was wondering if maybe you could introduce yourself a little bit to our audience so people kind of have an idea.

mean, you're a director, you're a writer, you're an actor. Obviously, you're an activist in this field, maybe tell people little bit about you and tell us why you're so interested in educating people about the ID.

 

@10:30My Phone 김정란

Hi everyone, my name is Chong Kim. And so I, from my own personal experience, I want to be able to share some of the red flags that I was not aware of and also how trauma

I played an important role in my survival and how I got out and how I was able to maintain my life until the survival for my alter ego no longer served a purpose for me anymore.

I was actually diagnosed with borderline personality disassociation which is different from DID and on top of that I was also diagnosed with DID and those two are considered one of the biggest personality disorder along with narcissist along with anti-social personality disorder even OCD is considered a personality disorder anybody who has a personality disorder

And I want to really iterate this to people. There are self-aware BPD, BID, narcissism, and that means they're self-aware.

They are also holding their behavior accountable. They are no longer using the disorder as an excuse for bad behavior.

There is a guy that I listen to a lot. His name is Daman Hammond. He's a self-aware narcissist. And he does a lot of TikTok and YouTube.

He tells women, especially, do not have this wishful thinking that he's going to change. He's not going to change unless he goes to therapy, but he has to be consistent with therapy.

SCREEN SHARING: Billy started screen sharing – WATCH

The other thing is I was also diagnosed with PTSD, of course, we're all familiar with post-traumatic stress syndrome, but I'll get a little into that along with DID so people have an example of what that really means.

I was also diagnosed with mening depressive bipolar. So you can imagine how fun I was when I was younger and don't become much relationship with I another.

 

@13:30Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Well, you know, I was going to, I don't mean to totally interrupt, but when I did some research to be a little more prepared to have a conversation with you about this, I learned a lot about people in their brain adapting to a traumatic event.

Some of those things could result in PTSD or CPTSD or any of these different disorders like that. So it's fascinating.

was

 

@14:00My Phone 김정란

My 김�el My 김점란, 김정란, by my babysitter. And so I didn't learn this until years later when I got into therapy.

I have what's called a little alter ego. He's five years old. Her name is Tom. Before twenty. Yeah, before two thousand and two.

That's when I was diagnosed with all of these. I used to not go by charm. So the Chong little girl is five years old.

So when I was first traumatized, what happens is our conscience mind and not… It's kind of like trying to eat that giant hamburger in our little mouth and we can't do it, so we end up having to cut it up.

But the downfall is trauma. You can't cut it up. You can't cut up in pieces and put it into your brain.

So what your brain does is says, okay, the three little girl is being raped. You can't endure this. We have to protect her since then her little comes out and next a lot of our alters are burst from trauma.

They would not exist if trauma did not exist.

 

@16:14Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Can you explain, and this was kind of a little further down in the in a lot of the literature, but the concept of an altar, so there's an altar and then there's like a core identity or a front or depending on who you read.

But can you explain that concept to people that don't really understand? know we really kind of skipped past the whole what is, you know, like the official definition of this associated identity disorder, but maybe you can kind of give an overview of that and how the altars play into it.

SCREEN SHARING: Billy started screen sharing – WATCH

 

@16:44My Phone 김정란

Okay, when I got out of trafficking, I would have full blown blackouts. couldn't remember that my question Ultra Eagle actually took shape.

They took over. So when people would say, I did this or this or this, and I couldn't remember, that's a full-on multiple personality disassociation.

And it only happens either I am severely triggered, where I didn't get a chance to heal, or that I feel like I'm about to be in danger.

Or I may believe that I could be in danger.

 

@17:36Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Right, so it's a reaction that started through some trauma previously. if you're going to go, or your body, or your brain thinks you're going to go through that trauma again, I'm looking for a solution, and that solution might be this personality that can cope with that behavior or activity.

 

@17:55My Phone 김정란

Yes.

 

@17:56Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Okay.

 

@17:56My Phone 김정란

One of the things is, so. The persona can also take form in their own identity. That's why it's called multiple personal disassociation or personality disorder.

So, for example, I've talked about jewels a lot, but I want to give you a clear picture. So, surely, after my talk, think.

 

@18:30Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

So, you're going to talk about jewels as in how we connect this to the Every 40 Seconds campaign? All right.

we have definitely a lot to talk about when it comes to that, because you have a whole film that just came out called Every 20 Seconds, where Zane's character jewels has multiple personalities, and she uses them in her investigations and in her reactions to her investigations, which are

It's a fascinating show.

 

@19:05My Phone 김정란

Let me give you an example. When I got out of trafficking, from that point on, I had to find a way to survive.

The only thing I knew how to survive was prostitution. So, the charm part of me has ran away. She's like, this is adult stuff.

I don't want any part of it. She likes coobear, hello kitty. She likes, he literally is like that five-year-old little girl.

So, when you have alter egos or personality disassociation, you have to have someone that's considered the host. Right now, the chong adult is now the host.

If I was unhealed, there was would be a chimp. 김정란 was host. Haha. The host at the time says, I only got $2 to my name.

And Joel's will come and go, well, I'm digging it all. Yes, it's fine. I'm going to go back out there.

I'm going to sell my movie and we're going to make money. And Kim is thinking, I don't know if I can do that again after what you don't have to do it.

I'll do it. I know how to play the film to the So that's when the full personality takes the shape.

So Joel's will then be the forefront that she ends up becoming the host. It's kind of like a Ferris wheel.

But when you stop, that's whoever is the host.

 

@21:48Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

That's very cool. That Ferris wheel analogy is pretty interesting. Yeah, that definitely helps. And it's like the different personalities have different morality.

taxing.

 

@23:00My Phone 김정란

diarr imitate you get to go home to your wife and cuddle with her. So in Jules' mind, she's like, I don't care, I'll play whatever, love me long time stereotype as long as they pay up.

That was the way she could digest everything she did. But here's the thing with a lot of survivors that deal with personality disorder or disinterception of

I didn't even disorder. Because when our alter ego or our other persona does something that's either immoral or illegal, it becomes staying, guilt, emotional pain that we end up drinking up drugs, alcohol, or miscuity, we start lashing out.

Because now we think, so the kid part of me that was the house at the time, so once Jules meets the guy, her pager because this is in the 90s, so her pager would pee, who called the guy up, he wants to meet up at his house.

So now she knows, and this is where the survival part comes in. I'm going to his domain. So I need to make sure where are all the exits.

How do I get out in case I go into a There we go. That's going to put me in danger.

So I'm going to make sure I'm back then. I used to wear dark black boots that were knee-hone. It was, it had nothing to do with fashion.

I would put all my weapons in my boots. From a folding knife to, I didn't use taser to me.

You would have to be so close to take them. And then plus, I hated Mrs. the Joel's part of me.

Especially when she got in, she loved putting them in fear. Because when she sees them in fear, he has a flash bath when they were putting knee in fear.

When they would put that knife up to my neck, and tears would start and they would say, Oh, I love what you cry.

So she doesn't say anything to them. So put the knife up to their neck and says, How does this feel right now?

And so that's Joel's part. So, Creek dobel. you When her encounter is complete, then Kim will wake up finding credit cards, she will find blood on her hands, she will find rolex, waltzes, withing greens, but she would never sell them at a pawn shop.

She would actually find dry dealers, and that's how she made her money. And back then, you could get away with it so much.

I share this in my , so I'm not worried about people saying, oh now you're admitting to crime. And now because the FBI also hired me to teach people this.

So I went in like that. This time we're out before people go, oh no.

 

@26:50Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

No, I know you're on the up and up with all this stuff and you've definitely been public with it.

So I know I'm not concerned about any of that stuff. So you kind of gave us an idea of

 

@27:16My Phone 김정란

김정란, 아� Hurt healing journey and it takes years. For the mere fact I still have jewels talking to me means I still have ways to go.

But one of the biggest misconception is that people think your alter ego or your other persona is just pure evil.

They would say, oh no, my alter ego is coming out and it's going to murder people. That's a misconception.

There's been so many horrible films in the past. Like for example, split They showed that guy being, you know, John McAvoyed.

He used to play the young professor for the X-Men, but he did a film called Split, and that was also about split personality.

Because he was so severely traumatized that he kidnapped three girls, and then later on he turned into some kind of mutant beast that he ate them up.

So that's a misconception. We don't become mutants, and we don't go around killing people. So, but there are people that will utilize their alters, or may or may not be aware, that their alter ego is doing other things that may consider immoral or illegal.

SCREEN SHARING: Billy started screen sharing – WATCH

So that's one of the misconceptions. The other misconception is 김정란, 김정란, 김정란 also to let people know because people say, oh, does your alter ego jules only come out when you're triggered?

No. Before I got into healing, I actually did not know that jules even exist. I didn't find out until this is going to be kind of funny, but…

I went out to this nightclub with a group of girls, and we love going to the gay bars because we think it hit him.

We want to just dance.

 

@29:40Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

It's very interesting to go to a gay bar as a straight man because literally there's no pressure of anything happening, and it's a very different emotion.

Absolutely.

 

@29:53My Phone 김정란

But what was funny was I didn't know that jules had a… I didn't know you went both ways because the camera was the didn't know you.

I didn't So the Kim Parton is straight. Jules is actually a lesbian. So there are times I feel conflicted.

And so when I was in Jules mode, which I didn't know at the time, I would have women and men that would say, now even though Jules is a lesbian, one of the things I want to let people know.

When Jules is in Jules Because she does not see a man as an equal. Be seasoned as you only.

For all the pain and suffering you only. She does not care that you were the one, you were not the one that abused her at 3 years old.

He does not care that you are not the one that trafficked her at 19. All she cares about in Jules' mind, you're a man, so you have to pay.

That's how she sees it. So even with politics, we clash. It literally feels like you're in a room with 4 or 5 people, but they're all used.

But they have basically separated because of the trauma that you go through. The other side of Jules that I don't like, so I had people, I actually had men that would have

김정란, jolz. It felt like prisoner. To her, it felt like I'm in prisoner now. He doesn't see it as like a healthy couple.

For example, now I'm married. So if I go out and I'm going to stay out late, I'm going to let my partner know so he's not worried.

But in Jules Mind, she's like, who cares? Go out, do what you want. If you make it great, if you don't, who cares?

That's how Jules thinks. When someone tells me, can you let me know what you're going? The healthy part of me will say, okay, I see that they're concerned, I see that they care, so I'm going to let them know I'm going to this place in case something happened to me.

But then Jules' mind is you say, you know, where are you going? This up, why? Are you trying to control me?

Are you trying to follow me?

 

@33:35Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

It's fascinating thinking about, you know, like I said, I did some research on, you know, people's reaction to trauma and how their brains create these reactions, whether they're full-blown personalities or just quirks whatever you want to call them.

And it's fascinating seeing just how extreme the Jules character is and how it's it's got really easy to see.

I can understand why she would have formed that way because she needed, you know, she wanted to fight. And now that she has the opportunity to do so, she's going to take it out on people.

 

@34:12My Phone 김정란

Oh, absolutely. One of the things that was amazing about having Jules is during the time I was surviving, because she protected me.

I don't know what type of men I got to meet over half of them. I'll be honest, I don't remember.

I actually had a guy not too long ago that found me on Facebook. And he had the exact same.

would say, I bought you. And there was a Jules part of me that says, let me out. Let me out.

 

@34:47Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Oh my God.

 

@34:48My Phone 김정란

No, no, no.

 

@34:49Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Let her under your Facebook page. That would have been something else.

 

@34:52My Phone 김정란

Wow. Oh, she's gone on to my Facebook page a couple of times.

 

@34:56Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Ooh.

 

@34:57My Phone 김정란

And I'm just like, oh no. And so, but one of the things, like I said, he served a purpose during the time that I needed him.

Now, I'm not in danger. I'm in shape. But the jewel part of me is angry. And the other thing I will say this much, your alters or your other personas, they are so.

Scared that when you heal, they disappear. Because the more you heal, the more your alters or your personas, they start to slowly decrease the amount that they keep coming out.

So, let me give you an example of why this pertains to the every 40 seconds. So, it was in 2005,

I did a public speaking and the jewels part of me, I see now when I was learning to heal, they taught me DVD dialectic behavioral therapy.

I love that ever since I got to learn how to do that. So my therapist would say, him is your inner advocate, strong is your inner child, and jewels is your warrior woman.

Because in the past, I would have people that said, you need to get rid of jewels. Why would you want to go to church?

It made more power for her to pull me away from church. During that time, when I met the right therapist, and this is something I can't emphasize enough, whether they specialize in personality disorder, if you have any type of vibe that you do not feel safe, you do not feel heard, and you do not feel the value your concerns, find another one.

Because I think too many times people feel like, oh there's a therapist, I don't know why I feel this way, maybe I should just stick with it.

 

@37:49Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

May I go ahead and agree with you wholeheartedly, not just about therapists in this particular area, but any type of professional that you're working

김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 늌요, 김정란, 김� 김정. So, it's a very, very important advice. nobody teaches you how to find a therapist, how to get to know a therapist, how to evaluate a therapist.

mean, there's a lot of missing pieces that, yeah, you have to be your own advocate.

 

@39:18My Phone 김정란

Absolutely. Whenever I meet a new therapist, I always ask him, can we do a probation period?

 

@39:30Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

No probation period. Yeah, there's a, there's like this, I mean, I agree with the probation period, obviously, but I'm wondering, do you have a way that you interview somebody?

Like, I've had people that have to wait months to even get their first appointment with a therapist, and they haven't even had a chance to go and meet them in person, you know, or say hi or anything.

It's, it's, it's crazy.

 

@39:53My Phone 김정란

What I've done.

 

@39:55Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

what's your, what's your method of doing that to get it to have that first session where you

 

@40:00My Phone 김정란

I'm I'm talking about this. Let's say I found the therapist charging me $125 an hour. It doesn't matter if my insurance is paying 80% and I'm paying the copay.

But what I tell them is, you know what? I would like a probation period. We're doing that probation period.

I'm going to pay 75%. To see if you're worth it, or even 50%. And some of them do argue with me and says, man, this is my selling.

Thank you very much. And I hang up. I don't argue with them. Because that tells me they don't care about me.

I know this is what you have to make. I get that. But I also want to believe you can't be a specialist just on money alone.

If you're making $150 an hour and you see $6 And client, you're you're a if an idiot. You're pretty comfortable.

And especially specialists, they don't make anywhere near $100. They make over $400. So, I said, whether it's your insurance that's paying them or you're paying them, you ask for a probation period.

 

@41:55Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

One month, you see them once a week. Yeah, I like the idea that you put your saying it's probationary, right?

In that way, it's like it also encapsulate not just the mindset, but also the fact that you're going to pay full price once the probationary period is over.

And really, this is to protect you so that you actually feel like there's a point at which you go, you know what, I tried you and I don't like you and I'm going to have to go.

You know, it's like you're setting an expectation all the way around. And I tell you that if the first conversation I had with them was, well, I'm not doing it because I have to do this for my things like when you're very much done, you know, and there's plenty more of them.

You know, just keep making those phone calls because you don't want to start with them. You don't want to start things where they were trying to bully you into paying a full price.

 

@42:44My Phone 김정란

Exactly.

 

@42:45Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Because I think there's got to be, I would have thought that I would go and meet them and it would be , you know, but I mean doing a probationary thing where you're like saying, hey, you know, I'll give you a percentage of your pay.

That seems pretty good. And it sets the expectation for everybody. So I like that.

 

@43:03My Phone 김정란

And also when you make them, well, once they agree to the probationary period, that means they don't get to build your insurance for price.

You want to make sure that is also in the contract. I create contracts for probationary period. And I tell them this is what I will send to my insurance.

That way they know they're not being robbed. You can say yes to me and say, yeah, you don't have to pay copay, but then they're going to build it to my insurance.

What I didn't cover. No, that doesn't follow either. Because a lot of these private insurance, they can create their own price.

That's another thing that they don't tell you. They create their own price. Like now they have all these , better health,

Her and let me tell you, be very, very careful. I don't care how many stars there was a lady that I was going to get.

He advertised that the first four sessions would be $80. And I said, I can do that. The moment I made my first appointment, it jumped up to $150.

I said, no, man. You lied. There was nothing in there that says $154, She said, well, that was my promotion package.

Then how come I'm not getting that promotion package? Because I haven't met you yet. So there's a lot of scam.

Be very, very careful. And then, too, always remember, whether it's your insurance, whether it's the government, or whether it's you paying for the service, do not be afraid to ask them for references.

 

@45:01Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Yeah, that's really good idea because, well, my family has participated with therapists from time to time over the years and we have gone to see people and they just taught this in circles.

I don't think those people knew how to lead anybody into anything. We failed on that. We could have done a better job but that's a great tip because I really would like to know, hey, have you had a kid with this problem or an adult with this problem or somebody with this issue and how did you help them?

We went to an orthodontist and this guy had like before and after molds of all of these people's teeth in the room.

It was like, okay, we had met five different ones before then and we went into that one and was like, okay, this I trust.

This feels better and everything was still, everything I was great after that and we wound up working with him.

But man, you know, yeah, getting a letter of reference is great. And thought about that for a therapist.

 

@46:09My Phone 김정란

Either it's a great advice. Absolutely, because especially when I'm asking for probation period, one of the things I do tell the therapist, I'd be happy to write a reference letter if our sessions go really well.

Because that's a great marketing for them. And especially if they can say, guess what? Now I have someone and you don't have to discuss your sessions.

You can say, hey, I recommend a therapist. They valued what I had an issue with. You know, and you can say, you know, I trust them.

You don't have to give details of how many sessions or things like that. You can still keep it private.

Or you can just say anonymous and just put one initial. Nobody knows who she is. Katherine, Charlie, can even do that.

That way it shows that this person who is anonymous is also legitimate. Things like that.

 

@47:18Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

That's really good advice. We had talked a little bit earlier about your interest in educating parents about this issue and how preventing this from happening is something that parents can actually do.

parents can find ways to with their kid because the problem that we're really talking about is that while DID and all these other personality issues, what they are is their reactions to trauma.

The thing is how do we keep this trauma from happening to ourselves or to other people or children in particular.

You were saying that there are lots of ideas that you had about how parents can actually understand the problem.

 

@48:06My Phone 김정란

I want to emphasize not just the parents, teens, college students, if you've never dealt with trauma in your life, congratulations.

I sincerely congratulate you. We've all been through some type of heart. We've had a breakup to someone calling us ugly.

These are not the type of trauma that will spark a disassociative identity disorder. It has to be on a continual basis.

So, just to give you some examples, I was right that through. It continued I was 6 years old. Imagine that child having to go see that babysitter Monday through Friday.

8 hours a day, you get to spend with that perpetrator. As a parent, they could have stopped that immediately.

Get her the help so she can heal. He turns out it's not her fault. Give her healing and coping mechanism.

But because that didn't happen, then between the ages of 5, all the way through 9 years old. My parents knew them.

My dad was drunk all the time. So he was so passed out he didn't know what his friends were doing.

Because of the constant abuse that went over and over and over. Not only that, but also in school. There is a clip I shared on TikTok, and I also shared it with you.

Feel free to look that into the Zoom. But it's played by Amanda Sinkfried, and she's talking to Emily. I can't remember her last name.

But she said, and predators have an inept way of finding children who have been abused. They're like neon signs.

And that's what she said. I love how she said that. Because it's so true. Because when people say things like, you know, is this happening?

So let me bring it down to you a little bit simpler. When being raped as a child, and then

SCREEN SHARING: Billy started screen sharing – WATCH

Yes. You want to play that real quick so they can hear it? Is it playing?

 

@51:38Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

It's playing, but I'm not hearing it on my side, so I'm not hearing it. will put it in the description below.

 

@51:49My Phone 김정란

Okay, perfect. But one of the things I want to emphasize, when I'm telling parents, when I'm teaching you about pregnancy,

When I'm teaching you, or when me and Billy are talking about VR headset, one of the things is predator.

Great! They have vulnerability issues. have trust issues. But they are… starving for love. But they don't know what healthy love looks like.

I can love bombs in. And, you know, when we tell parents, please be aware that your child could be groomed.

And parents say, no, you know, I don't want be a part of this. That's really sad to hear because you have no idea.

the predators, and I'm not talking about just male predators. The female It's in general, no matter what race they are.

It is like a moth who is flitting.

 

@53:12Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

You know I got the video working so let's go ahead and flip over to it because in context this is really important as you know.

SCREEN SHARING: Billy started screen sharing – WATCH

So let's see what we got. Predators are very adept at finding their prey. They're picking up on cues that nobody else can see.

These cues can be chemical, psychological, behavioral, non-verbal. To the predator neon signs and here's the thing that I cannot emphasize enough.

None of it is under the victim's control. None of it is the effect it's for.

 

@54:00My Phone 김정란

김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, and so when she was meeting the mom she was trying to let the mom know that there was this girl named Anna that was her patient and man the secret patient in the show as she was raped six times in eight years of her one and that's when she goes into predators because she was letting the mom know I know that you have

Even though you want to ignore it, deny it, because I see this happening a lot. Now, one of the things that I want to emphasize to parents, like when we talk about prevention, it is because we know that predators are waiting.

They are waiting for that moment when the mom's shield is down. When I'll give you an example, if I was a predator and I heard a mom that says, no, my son is 6′ tall, he's big, he's not going to be grown.

Because in her mind, she's thinking it's going to be a man. So, the predator parted me and I'm not a predator, but I want to give you an example.

I'm going to start looking him up. I'm very stuff fun. What school he goes to? I'm going to look on his social mean and see what he likes.

Oh, he loves the… I'm gonna pick a kid. Look, say that he likes the Oakland Raiders. He was loved to be in a box seat with the Oakland Raiders.

And what a predator will do. Even if… I could be a boy. I'm-collar woman. But knowing that he wants the Oakland Raiders tickets, if I have to sleep with someone, if I have to steal, if I have to pawn, just to get them box seats, and all I have to do is drive up to his school.

Be able to report, I'm a woman. His mother didn't prepare him for me. I I can be the substitute teacher and come in and I can look at the boy and say, you know what?

You're doing such a great job on Pratity. I have high hopes for you. They start to do that grooming.

And if I want him for hook line and sinker, then I say, guess what? I got you tickets for the Oakland Raiders.

But you gotta do something for me. Because I mean, these tickets aren't cheap and he really wants them. And depending on what that favorite is, now here's the prevention part.

If you trained your child well, if you equipped them well. If they see the Oakland Raiders ticket, they're gonna say, sorry.

I am out because that means you taught them anything that's too good to be true, probably is. And why is this person giving you a very expensive ticket for what?

There's no such thing as a free, especially, especially a free expensive gift.

 

@58:28Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Yeah, that's right. The strings are there, or they're going to be there, and people have to be aware of that.

The thing that I spend a lot of time trying to educate people that they are vulnerable. I just want you to just recognize you have vulnerabilities.

one of the ones that I use is like, if you're current on all your bills, you're probably making good decisions about where you're getting your money.

If something goes wrong and you lose your money. You're going to start making riskier and riskier decisions about how to get that money.

That riskiness comes right along with those vulnerabilities. If you cannot recognize that those are both happening at the same time, you've got big problems.

You have to be able to acknowledge that, hey, I am now in a situation that is going to make me more vulnerable so when somebody comes up with that gift that's really too big, it's like you need to be really aware of what is it that you're signing over to get that ticket or whatever it takes to pay your rent.

That concept is something that seems overwhelming to a lot of the parents that I talk to because we're like, look, we have a lot of work to do to teach you and so that you can go and teach your children this stuff, but it's work that you have to do.

You can't just give your kid a screen. It's like, no, you have to be a parent. No, you want to end trafficking?

Be a parent. 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, My � have to really start thinking about other people. It's so overwhelming for them.

Do you encounter that when you tell people that they answer to human trafficking is becoming a really, really involved parent and that you have to quit your third job?

mean like, what are the reactions that you get to that when you talk with parents about that?

 

@1:00:49My Phone 김정란

They actually hand them to me. They're like, you do it. No, no, They're with you. You need to be equipped.

Okay. Other times, one of the things I hear mostly though, a lot of my friends always say, Grandma's going to watch them.

Grandpa's going to watch them. So and so and my family's going to watch them. But you need no, no, stop it, Charm.

My family, I know them. And so I told them, I said, okay, you know them. Now. I at least do this challenge for me then.

Ask your child how they feel about every person that you assign, that you trust. And this is what I did with my son when he was five.

I said, we made it into a game. So I said, I'm going to pay the cop by people that I like and I'll cover my hands.

I was writing this lesson. There were two people out of lists that were on so I always ask parents whether your child is small, tween, or a teenager.

Ask them who would be your top three in your alternatives for the two. And then you write. You not tell them what to write.

Don't say don't forget grandpa because you're not allowing them to think for themselves.

 

@1:02:54Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

What you want to do is you want to teach them what you really want them to write down. Who do you trust?

Not who do you like, not whose nice system gives you the most candy, but who do you trust the most?

Wow, that's a really interesting… that's really interesting. I don't think we ever did that with our kids. I think we talked about it.

I'm sure if my wife heard me say this, she'd be like, no, Billy, we did this all the time or whatever, but it's definitely something that you should do as a practice for sure.

I mean, like, because you have to do something find out what's really happening inside of your family, because all these people that are in your family, they could be doing really nasty things to your child.

And the statistics back up that is this is a family problem. So getting your kid to start talking about trust and being able to have that conversation with them, that's a really, that's a great thing.

It's a great activity for people to do.

 

@1:03:56My Phone 김정란

Absolutely.

 

@1:03:57Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

And I'm giving somebody a screen for crying out.

 

@1:04:07My Phone 김정란

I'm trying to myself even when he was really small. I would tell him if you see an old man that looks like he can barely walk and he tells you to come over and help him.

Do not. And he said, what if he's bleeding? know, say, did you come to mommy and will break?

 

@1:04:29Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Right.

 

@1:04:29My Phone 김정란

You're not an adult.

 

@1:04:32Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

You are a child. Your job is to get an adult to help. And an adult to get adult. You can see if you're kid in all these situations.

 

@1:04:42My Phone 김정란

You really do. Because I want to make sure one thing that came into my mind, the moment I found out I was going to be pregnant, my biggest fears were predators.

What do I do? How do I protect my One thing my mom said to me a long time ago when I was pregnant, she said, the baby's David's place in the mother's room.

And I said, well, they can't stay there for 18 years. And so, one of the things is, you know, when my son was little, he was shy at first, but then once he got to know someone, he was very open, very playful.

But I wanted to teach him not just stranger danger, but I also taught him, even with grandpa's friends, because my dad was still alive.

So, I would always tell my son, do not go near them, do not allow them to kiss you. If they try to, you're little, take your fist,

And punch them in between the legs and run fire. Run is a fire, fire, fire. I love it. Because I guarantee you they won't touch you again.

Because they are looking for quiet children. They are looking for kids like I was. So one of the things that I want to definitely share about also a little bit more about the alter ego.

You know, when I, in 2005, when I started being approached to help with cases, the, I was still going through my skills training of DBT.

And so I remember my therapist says you can still utilize jewels to help you to become a servant, but not aggressive.

Because I didn't know how to be a servant. If I didn't like something, I was still in that victim mode even in the year 2005 because I was, it was drilled in my brain.

Whoever's the authority figure, you say yes no matter what. That was drilled in my brain. And so there are times unlike I really don't like this guy.

He's making me uncomfortable and just is like, let me in. Let me in. So when we switch, it turns into chaos because Jules does not know assertiveness.

That's why I didn't like him. And he'd say, you know, and he would make these stupid, it's like he was trying to find a way to relate going, you know, I love those things.

I'm just like, what are you doing? Let me out. Let me out. So finally I got set out. And he started coughing and I leaned down, whispered in his ear and said, look here, Momo.

Pouch me again and I will make sure parts of your body will be missing when you wake up. And he was going, and the kid part of me was like, great, I wanted you to scare him, not threaten him.

He works for the county. He could say, but the funny thing was the judge didn't leave him.

 

@1:09:00Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Oh really? The judge didn't believe him.

 

@1:09:03My Phone 김정란

Interesting. Because she looked at me and I'm just saying they're going, I'm Kim. And she's like, you threatened you?

Yes, she told me and he repeated it verbatim.

 

@1:09:18Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

He actually was like scared for his life. He's like, ahh! And you're sitting over here going, oh little old me.

Yeah.

 

@1:09:27My Phone 김정란

And then Joe's part of was laughing.

 

@1:09:31Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Yeah, that's a tough one. I mean, because that, you know, who knows? Maybe that's what needed to happen. You know, I mean, I, yeah, I don't have it.

I don't think I have any problem with that, honestly.

 

@1:09:42My Phone 김정란

Right?

 

@1:09:44Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

That, you know.

 

@1:09:45My Phone 김정란

Well, that was the part because that actually influenced the making of every 40 seconds. Because I remember sharing it to my therapist.

And they told her about the court. I told her about the I told her about everything and she applauded.

He said, I love poetic justice. And I was like, poetic justice. That's what that means. So Joe was like, all right, what does the FBI watch video?

And I said, we have to go undercover. Perfect. That means I get to come out more. And I'm like, Lord, we're going to get in trouble.

That's funny. Every time we did an undercover operation, I would be the one my knees would be shaking. I'm like, okay.

And Joe's is like, oh my God, let me in. Let me out so I could play the role. And they brought this FBI agent to go in with me.

This was a nightclub that was run by Russians. It was a nightclub. So we were supposed I have no Even though I have no idea how to progress.

At that time, I was under Kim Mode. never used Chong. At that time, said, they're Russian. They may have guns.

Jules is like, Stepway. Let me come in. When they brought the FBI agent to go in with me, he looked like a white version of Snoop Dogg.

Although when Jules came out, she looked at him. She's like, hello, Elton John. And he's like, No, no, I'm trying to look like Snoop.

First of all, you don't have dreads. And too, you look like Elton John. You've got like the feathers all over you.

 

@1:11:47Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Wow.

 

@1:11:48My Phone 김정란

And so when Jules took over, she said, First of all, had to train the FBI agent. so if you're going undercover, you have to read the room you idiot.

you. So, like, a jewel says not not how to be polite. He's like, you're an Asian and you're training for what?

That's how jewels talk. So she made them go and change and then come back and they would walk in together.

And so they would sit at the bar and she would act like she dropped and she took over the shoe.

One of the Russian guys picked me up and I would speak broken English or Joel's word. She'd be like, oh, I still study.

mean, mean to, mean to. And he's like, it's okay, it's okay. But I would drop my phone, kick it under the chair, under the chair and wait till they laugh and get my phone back.

But I told the FBI agent I called you so you can record their conversation. 김정란, 래세용, he did not, hah!

The whole fanpop batter was playing spades and I was like, So you saw out, you would' have had the entire conversation but this guy was an idiot.

Yes! Yes. But that's how I did a lot of vacations. And so when I was working for the feds as a contractor, want people to know that they gave me a whole new idea.

thought this was fascinating. It was a regular driver's license with my picture on it, but I went as Stephen Park.

You know, it was a Korean name and everything. And so, so whenever I did different under camera stuff, I was too scared for the jolts within a V.

And instead of So during that time, I did work from 2005 to 2015. So towards 2014 and 15, Bravo Network found out I did a cover.

They said, oh, we want to do a reality TV show. We want to follow you around, kick down the doors.

They're like, you're going to get me shot, you idiot. And so during that time, that's when I thought, you know what?

I went into a TV series because there is no show about human trafficking. People loved Dexter. He was a vigilante.

He chopped up pedophiles. Who would feel sorry for that. And so the difference between my lived experience of doing undercover work, it take down traffickers versus

This E40S, I've never killed anyone, they had to check with me and they had to give me a taste of it.

I'm like, really? Okay, because I was not allowed to use again. Whereas I can use my creative influence to make it more palatable.

But the cases that the film is working on, like the crew is working on, these are real cases. So there was a case that got busted in South Padre, Texas about origin, I mean not organ trafficking, embryo trafficking.

So that became our subject. But the backstory is actually about a female survivor who suffers with DID, the discussion of identity disorder.

So we did basically a short film. Thank you. . People, the visual of what we're trying to do, which is an indie film.

So, not all the casting crew will be in it. Some from the short will move into the indie, and some will not, because some of those roles were already reserved for SAG actors, like Stephen Bauer.

He's very interested in playing based in. He's really silent. Because he wants to play good. He's a phenomenal person.

He has an amazing privilege to meet with him. played in Starpings, Manny Rivera. He also played Don in L'Adio, in Breaking Bad.

But that's what E40s say for every 40 seconds. Because in America, every 40 seconds a child in America goes missing.

One in every course of The child falls into human trafficking. But the reason why I wanted to create not just this film, but I'm going to bring awareness on our American kids.

Because unless you come from a high social class, the rest of the kids are known as runaways, endangered youth, the language you've not done with, troublemakers.

When these kids are just victims of their own environment.

 

@1:17:35Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

So you're saying that 25% of the kids that go missing in America are likely to be trafficked in one way or another.

This stuff is really hard for people to understand. It seems so intense and so unreal and otherworldly. you're a regular normal person that's going about their normal life and you hear about these things, right now you hear a lot about on television, you hear about QAnon, it's talking about save the children and all that kind of stuff.

We're not really talking about that stuff. Most of the time we're really talking about this is some basic people are getting free labor out of other people and they are making money off of somebody else's effort.

It is way more common. Why do you think it is, this is a little bit of a twist, why do you think it is that the media spends so much time on the hype stuff instead of the just the

What do is going on there? Why is it so hard to get just the facts out of the media?

 

@1:19:10My Phone 김정란

One of the things I will say because I'm not afraid to say it is a lot of people on the top that are also coordinating it.

So if you don't want to get shot, that's why a lot of there are a lot of American victims of Epstein as well as Trump, as well as some of the big senators as well, politicians.

 

@1:19:35Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

I mean, there's billion are so afraid. Well, there's there's billions of dollars in labor trafficking in the agricultural market.

There's billions of dollars of labor trafficking through gangs because gangs are forcing their gang members to do stuff. those people are all being labor traffic in one way or another.

You know, there's billions of dollars in big butchering right now with the crypto scams that are happening. And these things are endemic.

They're everywhere. If you have a WhatsApp account, you can be harassed about cyber currency and stuff like that just immediately.

Children are getting SMS text messages from bots that are basically handing them over eventually to real life groomers that are trying to extort those children.

And it's plainly obvious the facts are there, but we're just not getting anything clear. And it does seem like there's almost a coordinated effort to keep the obviously what's really happening out of the media.

I mean, like the number of people that are coming over the southern border right now, I do not want to be an alarmist.

But those people are displaced from their homes. are coming into our country and they are either If you want to think of them as bad people that are coming here to do things, it's like once they get here, they need to eat and they're going to have to get a job to do something and someone is very likely going to take advantage of them.

And it's like that's part of the problem. Those people are going to be taking advantage of. And so it's like I feel like there's so much really obvious information that could be shared with people in a plain, clear voice, you know.

And yet we don't hear that stuff. We hear this really extravagant, manipulated, sciops almost talking about human trafficking being all about, you know, the elite doing all kinds of crazy things.

It's like guys, we should be paying attention to what's happening inside of families. This stuff is very, very real.

And children are trafficking other children.

 

@1:21:55My Phone 김정란

It's outrageous.

 

@1:21:57Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

mean, like this case that you're bringing up, I mean… The embryo trafficking. That's as real as can get to.

It sounds so outrageous, but what you think, I mean, I've obviously read your script and I know a lot more details than the audience does right now, when people go in to see an OPGYN, they walk out with their eggs missing.

And they don't even know that they've had their eggs harvested from them. This is outrageous.

 

@1:22:30My Phone 김정란

And you have to be careful of what kind of clinic you're going into as well, because especially the ones, because my day job, I work as a medical releaseer.

And even in our training, we were taught that there's a lot of clinics that get sued because they'll say, hey, I have a private practice at the clinic and they get money.

The end. I teach you how to catch your insurance instead of using your insurance. Yet, that's supposed to be an OBTYN clinic.

 

@1:23:09Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Wow. It's not good. So I'm wondering if I'm noticing what time it is that we've been at this for quite some time and I want to try to wrap this up and see if there are, what kind of resources are there out there for parents?

Where should they be looking? Do you have tips? Do you want to send people to your TikTok for ideas?

Where should people go and how are they going to get the tips that they need to be better parents and pay better attention to what's going on with their kids and give their kids an idea of what to avoid?

 

@1:23:45My Phone 김정란

As far as like DID information, I would Google that and find one that's closest to you. But even when you find someone, do your investigation.

I want you to have the mindset that every therapist is an enemy until they prove you wrong. Maybe that's a little extreme, but that's how I do my investigation.

What are you willing to do for me? are your special clues?

 

@1:24:16Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

Where are your reference letters? Well, yeah, you are. You know, you're about to go into this person and pour out all of your innermost everything for a long period of time.

You're and you want that person to help you understand what's going on so you can piece your life back together.

There's a high cost that's going into this. so I think going at it, maybe like you said, maybe not necessarily an enemy, but there's nothing wrong with coming at it from like prove to me why you're the person that I need.

 

@1:24:48My Phone 김정란

You know, there's nothing wrong. Exactly.

 

@1:24:50Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

High standard for that. think that's a great idea.

 

@1:24:52My Phone 김정란

That's a great thing. Because you're paying for it, regardless, as standing with attorneys, standing with doctors, I would say.

And send a concern or complaint to the bar association and that will put a strike on their license. And if they get too many, their bar gets revoked.

People say, oh, I have an attorney, so I don't need make complaints. You're hiring them. You are paying for them.

If you want to complain about McDonald giving you soggy fries, when you complain about the nutrients that never calls you

김정란, Hear You 김정란, That's Really Good Advice 김정란, As Far As Like Awareness On Human Trafficking 겠떑, You Can Buy Me On My TikTok And Twitter At 김정란, And Then On Instagram It's Little Asian Girl I Will Send All Of Those 김정란, So 김정란, You Can Go On My Website 김정란, Am Chong Ken, And Then On My website and they'll have all my on there I mean I will also You know, I will also be sharing my YouTube channel I don't have my own specific YouTube channel yet YouTube says I have to reach at least 200 subscribers I'm at a hundred and fifteen so yay But I also have content on there where I share what does grooming look like

김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, 김정란, and also be seeing me in free trophy and I did my interview for the Wild filmmaker magazine.

When that comes out, I will share the link so everyone can see it.

 

@1:27:38Billy Joe Cain @ PBJLearning.com (pbjlearning.com)

That's awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for spending all this time with us today. I learned a lot about this associative identity disorder.

I learned a lot about brain plasticity and how our brains find ways to cope with situations that are extreme.

I didn't realize that there were so many things I've different situations that could play into DID and how DID and these other things are.

They're coping mechanisms. When you watch somebody have these effects, like my wife and I, we met when we were working at the Austin State Hospital and I worked with Schizophrenics a lot.

So I learned that for people with schizophrenia, I'm not exactly sure what the right word is, but I mean, I love these people so much, but they were hearing voices constantly.

And so part of what I learned about DID was that their thoughts that schizophrenia could be your alters have you having auditory hallucinations from your alters trying to tell you the ways to survive.

mean their brain just that was the way that their brain taught them to cope with it. And so it's fascinating thinking about how this trauma that's happening to people constantly.

mean severe trauma obviously. 김정란 leaving these bruises on people that affect their personality for the rest of their lives.

It's really something else. I hope the journey that you and I are on, trying to educate people about prevention and being aware of their surroundings and all that kind of stuff.

I hope it makes a dent because if we can stop just a couple of these things, just here and there, that's enough for me forever.

So keep up the great work and thank you for all of your efforts. Every 40 seconds is awesome. The work that you put into that, the fact that you've gotten it together, you put it out to all the different film festivals, you're starting to see the rewards of that.

Congratulations on everything. Thank you so much. Awesome. Well, we'll stay in touch and we'll talk soon. Thank you so much.

Thank